Don't read this if you're a woman...

**Ash** · #1 (**permalink**) 11-29-2007, 12:08 AM

At last, a forwarder that's actually amusing and true

Quote:

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules " From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight...............

Atticus_Finch · #2 (**permalink**) 11-29-2007, 12:31 AM

100% truth

**TOOL** · #3 (**permalink**) 11-29-2007, 12:41 AM

Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**wickedwindwalker** · #4 (**permalink**) 11-29-2007, 01:36 PM

actually, women really do need to read this. it might save us a bunch of headaches

the_bro · #5 (**permalink**) 12-19-2007, 10:47 PM

This is brilliant,I totally agree with all of it and WWW is right, It would save us time if women knew well... anything!
I love the bit at the end were he says he'll be sleeping on the couch tonight LOL it's excellent,Well done for finding this Ash, very good work!

jennifer.goldson · #6 (**permalink**) 12-20-2007, 07:57 PM

I ignored the command not to read this but I did think some of them were pretty funny. And while I might not agree with all of what you said, there are several that have some truth to them, such as "If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us." I can't believe there are women that still do this. Don't they know this is such a stereotype of us now. I will never ask a guy that question. If you have to ask that, you probably are fat because there is some doubt in your mind. Skinny women don't ever need to ask this question. I'm sorry if I'm biased but it's the truth.

DB6150 · #7 (**permalink**) 12-22-2007, 03:39 AM

ah well i guess ill just say this

if you dont want to hear any of this , dont marry one ....

pretty simple , but then again i can say from a male perspective , the world may be alot worse without women having a say in some things

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